There’s something to be said for basic, unadorned resiliency—the ability to get through, get over, and thrive after trauma, trials and tribulations. In this sense, sturdy beats stylish every time.

USA Weekend did a cover story a few years ago on the subject of resiliency, asking the question, “Why do some people bounce and others break?” The article noted how some people who experience trauma withdraw into a shell, while others facing the same crisis not only bounce back, but bounce back stronger than ever before. It talked about how resiliency is being studied in universities and taught in corporate seminars. Resiliency, the article said, could become the most important skill of the 21st century.

Why do some people break down while others bounce back? Unlike furniture, I don’t think it has to do with our design. A chair can only be as strong as it was made to be; it can’t decide to be more resilient or less resilient. We, on the other hand, have access to support beyond ourselves.

Our “design” — our emotional make-up resulting from parental and societal influences — can be overcome. A person who is naturally weak and easily discouraged doesn’t have to stay that way.

There’s a verse in Philippians that is so often quoted its meaning is sometimes overlooked. Paul is talking about being able to face hard times as well as good times, and he states confidently, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Resilience often comes down to a decision: whose strength will I draw from — my own, or God’s? One of the wonderful truths of the gospel message is that if you will look to God for strength, he will give it to you.

I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1-2)

Do you know what the difference is? It’s not the fire, or the heat or the duration. It’s the attitude you bring into it. When you look back on life’s unpleasant events, you can choose to see what you learned from the ordeal, or you can choose to just see it as a bad experience.

In every trial, every problem, every difficult situation, God is seeking to teach us something new, he’s seeking to take us to a higher place. Maybe it’s a chance to exercise a bolder faith, maybe it’s a chance to identify bad behavior that we must abandon, maybe it’s an opportunity to practice perseverance.  The lesson is always there in difficult situations; we can choose to be purified and made holy, or we can just allow ourselves to become burned and bitter.

Daniel wrote, “Many will be purified, cleansed and refined by these trials. But the wicked will continue in their wickedness, and none of them will understand. Only those who are wise will know what it means.” (Daniel 12:10)

One day a farmer’s old mule fell into an empty well. The farmer was disappointed because it was a good mule, but he concluded that the mule couldn’t be rescued, since the well was too narrow and too deep to retrieve the animal. He decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth saving, and his only option was to fill the well with dirt. [I know this sounds like a terrible way to put a mule out its misery. Remember, it's only an illustration.]

The farmer grabbed a shovel and began to fill the well with dirt, one shovel full at a time. It turns out that the animal wasn’t as close to dead as the farmer had guessed. When he felt that first pile of dirt hit his back, he instinctively shook it off and trampled on it. Another pile landed on him and he shook it off and trampled it. This went on all afternoon: shake the dirt off, trample it, and step a little higher, shake the dirt off, trample it, and step a little higher. Finally, after a few hours of this, that mule had risen to a new height; he was able to step triumphantly out of the well.

Osteen finished the story saying, “What’s interesting is that the dirt that was meant to bury him actually saved his life.”

Another story about a well.

His illustration reminds me of the story of Joseph, how his brothers had the idea of throwing him in a well. They were tempted to kill him, though they ultimately decided to sell him into slavery, settling on destroying his life rather than ending it.

God, however, had a different plan for Joseph — a plan that would make him the second most powerful man in all of Egypt. Instead of dying in a well or living as a slave, God destined him for wealth and power and prestige. And God gave him the opportunity to save his brothers from starvation.

Years later, long after Joseph had reconciled with his brothers, they were still afraid he would seek revenge, but Joseph had a different perspective on his life. He said, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good.” (Genesis 50:20)

When you’re down, you can be sure that there will always be someone willing to throw a little dirt on you. Remember that mule: shake it off and trample it; it will help you step up. This difficult situation may appear to have the power to destroy you, but by God’s grace, it will actually serve the purpose of taking you to the next level.

Lately I keep coming back to Romans 5:3 — “And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance, and perseverance, proven character…”

Tribulations are unavoidable, inevitable and inescapable, but you can change how they affect your life with a right response. You can use your energy to pout, or you can use it to make great music. It’s up to you.

Every day we face some kind of setback, some kind of disappointment — and everyday we have the opportunity to invest our energy in something more productive than anger, frustration, resentment or self-pity. Our challenge each day is to put those reactions aside, and focus on every opportunity to make music.