Monday Memo

by Steve May

I received a brochure a while back from a company specializing in “resilient furniture”: simple, sturdy, water resistant tables and chairs — not fancy in any way, but built to last. They’re not cheap either; a plain white folding chair is about $60. They’re not as pretty as the office chairs I buy at Sam’s for about the same price, but those chairs, as I am reminded every time I have to replace one, don’t have a long life-span.

There’s something to be said for basic, unadorned resiliency—the ability to get through, get over, and thrive after trauma, trials and tribulations. In this sense, sturdy beats stylish every time.

USA Weekend did a cover story a few years ago on the subject of resiliency, asking the question, “Why do some people bounce and others break?” The article noted how some people who experience trauma withdraw into a shell, while others facing the same crisis not only bounce back, but bounce back stronger than ever before. It talked about how resiliency is being studied in universities and taught in corporate seminars. Resiliency, the article said, could become the most important skill of the 21st century.

Why do some people break down while others bounce back? Unlike furniture, I don’t think it has to do with our design. A chair can only be as strong as it was made to be; it can’t decide to be more resilient or less resilient. We, on the other hand, have access to support beyond ourselves.

Our “design” — our emotional make-up resulting from parental and societal influences — can be overcome. A person who is naturally weak and easily discouraged doesn’t have to stay that way.

There’s a verse in Philippians that is so often quoted its meaning is sometimes overlooked. Paul is talking about being able to face hard times as well as good times, and he states confidently, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Resilience often comes down to a decision: whose strength will I draw from — my own, or God’s? One of the wonderful truths of the gospel message is that if you will look to God for strength, he will give it to you.

I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1-2)

Here’s a joke for you: A man applies for a job. His prospective employer asks about his previous work. The man says, “I was a dog catcher in a small Texas town, but they had to let me go when the position was eliminated.”

The employer asks, “Was it eliminated because of funding cuts?”

The man says, “No. It was eliminated because I caught the dog.”

Have you ever felt like that dog catcher — that you have outlasted your usefulness and are no longer necessary? It’s been known to happen. One way we sometimes deal with it is simply to let the dog back out on the street and chase it some more. We may not accomplish much in the long run, but at least we keep busy. There is, however, a better way.

Robert Schuller says that one of the most difficult times in his life was after he had, at a relatively young age, reached all of his goals.

He began to wonder if there any new mountains to climb — any new dogs to catch, so to speak. The result was that Schuller began to dream bigger dreams, moving his ministry beyond the borders of his southern California community, to reaching people through books and TV.

In the Old Testament there’s a story of a Babylonian slave named Nehemiah. Nehemiah had a big dream: he wanted to rebuild the walls of the city of Jerusalem. Against all odds, he accomplished his goal. What next? Tear down the walls and build them again? Instead, Nehemiah moved to a new level. He developed a new dream, bigger and more ambitious than the first: reuniting the people of Israel.

This is what he wrote: At that time the city was large and spacious, but the population was small. And only a few houses were scattered throughout the city. So my God gave me the idea to call together all the leaders of the city, along with the ordinary citizens, for registration. (Nehemiah 7:4-5)

Instead of questioning his own usefulness, Nehemiah upgraded his goals in life; he made the transition from building walls to building people.

If your life has become a circle of letting the dog out so you can catch it again…of tearing down walls so you can rebuild them…it may be time to upgrade your goals. God gave Nehemiah an idea of what to do next. 

He has an idea for you, too.

Some 80 years ago, as Notre Dame was preparing to play USC in college football, Fighting Irish coach Knute Rockne was aware that his opponent had a far better team, so he devised a plan to intimidate the Trojan players.

Rockne scoured the city of South Bend and hand-picked 100 of the largest men he could find–each at least six-foot-five and three hundred pounds. He put them in Fighting Irish uniforms and at game time marched them onto the field ahead of the real team. (Obviously, this was before the days of limited rosters and eligibility restrictions.)

As USC watched these giants line up on the sidelines, they forgot about their talent and their undefeated record, and they began mentally preparing themselves for a beating. Though none of the specially recruited men played during the game, their presence on the sidelines was enough to knock Southern Cal’s concentration off balance. Knute Rockne’s trick had worked; he had intimidated the Trojan players into giving up before the game even started, and Notre Dame won.

Our ‘opponent’ tries a similar trick. He tries to intimidate us by appearing larger than life– but we must remember that he, too, has been sidelined. John said, “Greater is he that is in you than he that is in theworld.” (1 John 4:4)

Don’t let your problems intimidate you. No matter how big the enemy may seem to be, remember that you have God’s power on your side. And he is greater. — SM

In the Ken Burns PBS series on jazz music, Duke Ellington was asked how it felt to be unable, due to segregation, to stay in the guest rooms of the hotels he and his band performed in. He said, “I took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.”

Lately I keep coming back to Romans 5:3 — “And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance, and perseverance, proven character…”

Tribulations are unavoidable, inevitable and inescapable, but you can change how they affect your life with a right response. You can use your energy to pout, or you can use it to make great music. It’s up to you.

Every day we face some kind of setback, some kind of disappointment — and everyday we have the opportunity to invest our energy in something more productive than anger, frustration, resentment or self-pity. Our challenge each day is to put those reactions aside, and focus on every opportunity to make music.