Monday Memo

Fulton J. Sheen wrote:

“An interesting phenomenon in children is that gratitude or thankfulness comes relatively late in their young lives. They almost have to be taught it; if not, they grow up thinking that the world owes them a living.”

A friend once told me that she didn’t want to force her son to say “Thank you” unless he really felt like it saying it. She said, “If I teach him to say ‘thank you’ when he doesn’t feel thankful, I’m teaching him that it’s OK to be a hypocrite.”

That’s not even close to what gratitude is. Our feelings have nothing to do with why we express it. Gratitude is not an emotion, it’s an action. The act of saying “thank you” is for the benefit of the other person. It’s about their feelings, not yours.

The same is true when it comes to saying “Thank you” to God. Thankfulness is the proper response to the goodness of God. We say “thank you” because he is good, not just because we happen to feel good at the moment.

This is why the Psalms so often refer to the “sacrifice of thanksgiving” — it’s an act of obedience, not just an emotional outburst.

David said, “I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the Lord.” (Psalm 116:17)

Like children, believers need to learn how to be thankful. Most of the time, when we consider all the good things God has done for us, we’ll feel thankful. Even when our feelings don’t cooperate, we need to properly express gratitude, offering God a sacrifice of thanksgiving for the kindness and mercy he has shown us.

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A grandmother was watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, “Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back.” And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: “He had a hat!”

That’s gratitude for you, isn’t it? Have you noticed that some people just can’t be satisfied? Some people — and I’m talking about you and me, not someone else — have a hard time expressing gratitude. Or even feeling it.

In 2001 Stephen Post, a medical school professor of bioethics, created a research group called the Institute for Research on Unlimited Love, dedicated to testing and measuring the effects of love, gratitude, and other positive caring emotions in human life.

Dr. Post’s research has discovered that spending 15 minutes a day focused on things you’re grateful for can have the following effects on our physical health:

1. It increases your body’s natural antibodies.
2. It increases mental capacity and reduces vulnerability to depression.
3. It creates a physiological state of “resonance”, improving your blood pressure and heart rate.

That’s gratitude for you, really. It not only lifts up the recipient, it also gives life to the one expressing it. This is why we’re told time and time again in scripture to give thanks: A thankful heart puts us in right alignment with God and one another.

Paul wrote, “And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.” (Colossians 3:15-17)

Today, I encourage you to look for something … and someone … to be thankful for. Take a moment to feel it, and another moment to express it.

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Patrick Henry, who’s primary contribution to the history books is the phrase “Give me liberty or give me death,” made another statement that appears in a number of quotation collections.

He said, “I know of no way of judging the future but by the past.”

Repeat this before an audience and you’ll see many heads nod in agreement. It has the ring of good common sense.

Be careful, though. This axiom might be true when applied to politics or history or investing, but it provides a lousy foundation for developing relationships. And it certainly doesn’t reflect the way God relates to us.

God gives a chance to let go of the past and start over — each and every day. Jeremiah wrote, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

God doesn’t judge our future by our past. He didn’t do it with David or Moses or Peter or Paul or countless other Bible characters. He does not treat us as our sins deserve. [Psalm 103:10] Every day is a new day.

A good way to start the day with God is to remember that you’ve just been given brand new mercies — the chance to start the day with a clean slate.

It’s also a good way to start the day with others. God doesn’t all our past to prevent us from a having a great future, so let’s give the same gift to others.

Former UCLA basketball coach John Wooden, who turned 99 this year, was once asked his opinion of former Indiana coach Bobby Knight. Wooden would only respond, “I think Bob Knight is an outstanding teacher of the game of basketball. I don’t approve of his methods, but I’m not a judge, and I’m not judging Bob Knight. There is so much bad in the best of us and so much good in the worst of us, it hardly behooves me to talk about the rest of us.”

I think he understands what Henry Kaiser once said, “When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.”

Wooden has shown us what a legend looks like. He not only was a gentlemen on the court, he holds records that may never be broken. His 10 national championships, his 88 game winning streak, his phenomenal winning percentage, the players he groomed for stardom in the NBA — this is his legacy; he has no reason to add the title of “outspoken critic” to the list.

In your life and mine, in your work and mine, there are a number of potential (even “worthy”) targets of our own outspoken criticism. If we’re not careful, they can take up all of our time. If we’re not careful, we can be sidetracked into thinking our opinions are more important than our actions.

It’s what you do that ultimately makes a difference. Talk isn’t enough. Opinions aren’t enough. Criticism, no matter how on-target or well-articulated it might be, isn’t enough. You prove who you are by the way that you live.

Paul asked, “So why do you condemn another Christian? Why do you look down on another Christian? Remember, each of us will stand personally before the judgment seat of God.” (Romans 14:10)

Let’s strive toward leaving a legacy built, not upon our estimation of others, but upon our own measurable accomplishments. Criticize less, do more. That’s what a legend looks like.

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When comedian Bob Newhart stood in front of a live audience for the first time — it was at the Tidelands Motor Inn in Houston — he performed the only three comedy routines he had: one about Abe Lincoln, one about a Driving Instructor, and one about the Navy.

The crowd loved him, so as he exited the stage, the manager grabbed him and told him to go back out for an encore. “That’s all the material I have, ” he said. It didn’t matter; the crowd was cheering and the manager wanted him to do an encore.

Newhart went back onstage and waited for the applause to die down. Then he asked them, “Which one do you want to hear again?”

He had three routines; if they wanted to hear more, it could only be more of the same. The story goes that Newhart repeated part of one sketch and got laughs all over again.

Preachers feel this way sometimes, I think — like we’ve got only a certain number of messages and we repeat ourselves too often. I feel this way especially when I’m preaching through a book that addresses the same topic chapter after chapter. I also feel it during December; how many ways are there to talk about Christmas?

In preaching, there are certain themes we turn to again and again. Sometimes it feels as though we’re saying what’s already been said by countless others countless times. This is OK, to a certain extent. C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity that “people need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed.” Returning to the simple topics of how to pray and have a devotional, the importance of loving others and sharing your faith, accepting God’s forgiveness and forgiving others — these are things we need to be reminded of again and again.

Peter told his readers, “Like newborn babes, long for the pure milk of the Word that by it you may grow in respect to salvation.” (1 Peter 2:2) Milk is food for beginners, but we never get past the need for milk. Neither do we get past our need for the basics of the Christian life.

While it is important for us to strive always to be fresh in our approach to presenting the gospel, we must also remember that our people (and we ourselves) need to hear those same wonderful truths again and again — they never lose their power. — SM

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There’s a story told about Sir Edmund Hillary, who was the first person (along with Tenzing Norgay) to reach the top of Mount Everest.

It happened on his third try. On Hillary’s previous attempt he not only failed to reach the summit, but his team also lost one of its members.

After their failed attempt, Hillary spoke to an audience about the experience. Behind him on the platform was a huge photograph of Everest. Hillary turned toward the photograph and said, “Mount Everest, you have defeated us. But I will return. And I will defeat you. Because you cannot get any bigger … and I can.”

When it comes to facing mountains, do you know how we ‘get bigger’? It starts with faith. Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)

Edmund Hillary became “bigger than Everest” through better planning, more detailed research, greater teamwork, and tenacious perseverance. And it started with faith — the faith that this mountain could be conquered.

No doubt you’re facing a mountain or two today: a mountain of debt, a mountain of fear, a mountain of uncertainty. Mountains don’t move without determined effort, thoughtful planning, or courageous perseverance.  And these things all begin with faith. It is faith that gives you what it takes to attempt something bigger than you. Not faith in yourself, but faith in the God for whom nothing is impossible, faith in the God who has called each of us to greatness. — SM

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Windows 7 is now available. I haven’t quite figured out their numbering system, because my machine still uses Windows 98. Does this mean they’ve taken 91 steps backward? Regardless, Microsoft is aggressively marketing Windows 7 these days.

One campaign seen in NFL games involves summarizing each game in seven words. (Because it’s Windows 7) Near the end of each game, the announcers make a seven-word summary, something along the lines of: Seattle led early. Cardinals ruled second half.

Or: Ravens’ defense shuts out struggling Browns offense.

Or: Bill Belicheck must have lost his mind.

It’s amazing how accurately you can summarize a game in seven words.

Do you want to sum up the life of a Christian disciple in seven words? Here it is.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)

John the Baptist captured the essence of what it means to be a follower of Christ: He is to become greater; I am to become less. John’s purpose was to pave the way for the coming of the Messiah. There is a sense in which your job and your purpose is to do the same thing. Especially at Christmastime.

This is such a wonderful time of the year, but it’s hectic. It’s easy for some to get lost in the pace to the extent that they miss the beauty and simplicity of the Christmas message. Our job is like John the Baptist’s. We have the opportunity to prepare the way for the Lord, to make a straight path for him so that others can experience his presence.

Maybe the Christmas season could be summarized with the words: “It’s not about me. It’s about Jesus.” In the coming weeks, I encourage you to look for opportunities in which you can step aside and let the message of Jesus take the spotlight in your life. —SM

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This memo was adapted from a sermon in Steve May’s new series, Mending Christmas.
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I received a brochure a while back from a company specializing in “resilient furniture”: simple, sturdy, water resistant tables and chairs — not fancy in any way, but built to last. They’re not cheap either; a plain white folding chair is about $60. They’re not as pretty as the office chairs I buy at Sam’s for about the same price, but those chairs, as I am reminded every time I have to replace one, don’t have a long life-span.

There’s something to be said for basic, unadorned resiliency—the ability to get through, get over, and thrive after trauma, trials and tribulations. In this sense, sturdy beats stylish every time.

USA Weekend did a cover story a few years ago on the subject of resiliency, asking the question, “Why do some people bounce and others break?” The article noted how some people who experience trauma withdraw into a shell, while others facing the same crisis not only bounce back, but bounce back stronger than ever before. It talked about how resiliency is being studied in universities and taught in corporate seminars. Resiliency, the article said, could become the most important skill of the 21st century.

Why do some people break down while others bounce back? Unlike furniture, I don’t think it has to do with our design. A chair can only be as strong as it was made to be; it can’t decide to be more resilient or less resilient. We, on the other hand, have access to support beyond ourselves.

Our “design” — our emotional make-up resulting from parental and societal influences — can be overcome. A person who is naturally weak and easily discouraged doesn’t have to stay that way.

There’s a verse in Philippians that is so often quoted its meaning is sometimes overlooked. Paul is talking about being able to face hard times as well as good times, and he states confidently, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Resilience often comes down to a decision: whose strength will I draw from — my own, or God’s? One of the wonderful truths of the gospel message is that if you will look to God for strength, he will give it to you.

I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1-2)

Albert Einstein said, “Once a day, allow yourself the freedom to dream.”

I don’t know what Einstein dreamed about; I guess his life’s work and the contributions he made to physics gives a clue.

If you were devote time each day to the task of dreaming, what would you dream about? A better family life? A closer walk with God? A larger congregation? A more secure financial situation? What are your dreams?

When we dream, we allow ourselves to see beyond the ugliness of now. When we dream, we allow ourselves to explore the possibilities of what could happen, how things could become.

We know the words of Jesus. “I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)

Mustard-seed faith — which is actually mountain moving faith — starts with a dream, an idea of what could be. You don’t have to stay stuck in a rut forever. The first step to changing your situation is to allow yourself to dream.

Try it. Once a day (at least once a day), take some time to get alone with God, think about your life, your ministry, your family, your health, your happiness, and allow yourself to imagine how things could be.

In November 1930 The Chicago Examiner reported the story of Harry Havens, who went to bed and stayed there for seven years, with a blindfold over his eyes, because he was angry at his wife.

Havens has always tried to be a good husband. He worked around the house, took care of the yard, carried out the trash, and even helped with the dishes. One day his wife complained that he wasn’t doing it right, and Harry decided that enough was enough. He said, “All right, if that’s how you feel, I’m going to bed. I’ll stay there for the rest of my life and I don’t want to see you ever again.”

Harry went to bed, put a blindfold over his eyes, and stayed there. He finally got up again when the bed started to feel uncomfortable…seven years later.

The article’s headline states, “Man Spites His Wife By Staying Blindfolded in Bed Seven Years.” Maybe his exile did get on her nerves somewhat, but who did Harry really spite? Who was the biggest loser in this extended temper tantrum? It was Harry himself. He lost seven years of his life. He lived seven years in darkness. No reading. No walks in the sunshine. No laughter with friends. Just seven long, miserable years trying to settle a score that maybe was never settled.

The writer of Hebrews said, See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Hebrews 12:15)

Bitterness can damage a relationship, true. Most of all, it damages you. It destroys your happiness and peace of mind, and it causes you to miss out on the grace that God offers to each of us.

It reminds me of what Nelson Mandela once said: “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

It took Harry Havens seven years to decide that his refuge of bitterness felt uncomfortable. How long will you wait to let your bitterness go?